I have a very different outlook on priorities and how relationships work. I grew up in and out of foster care and "Group Homes". Everyone always tells me "You are a survivor." What that translates as in English: "You are weird, I don't understand you at all and I am seriously afraid you might cut me so I am giving you the closest thing to a compliment I can muster because after all you are several levels below me on the class system."
I didn't want to spend my childhood surviving. I wanted to thrive. I wanted to be one of the people that made those types of un-compliments.
Do you ever remember the feeling of being separated from your parents in a store when you were little? The fear. The panic. Will they ever find you? Will someone hurt you? Are they looking for you? Suddenly the temperature gets about 50 degrees colder and you can't stop shaking.
When you live in foster care you carry this feeling with you forever. It may not be as strong as time goes on but it is always there lurking in your psyche just waiting to influence your daily affairs to alert everyone that you are not quite the same as them. You a have a weirdness that can not be explained and makes them nervous.
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